“Why don’t you ever get jealous of me?” or “Don’t you love me anymore?”. How familiar these questions are, right? Are you aware the different reasons underlie jealousy?
Jealousy or possessiveness?
Jealousy is used synonymously with the sense of possession in male-female relationships. However, we encounter jealousy in almost every aspect of our lives. Anyone with a higher salary, prettier or more handsome can be envied. While we condemn this kind of jealousy, we can tolerate jealousy in relationships, but in every sense, jealousy is an unhealthy feeling.
Not an innocent feeling
We try to make jealousy innocent by using discourses such as “a loving person is jealous”. However, jealousy cannot be a sign of love. On the contrary, it can make relationships based on love extremely weary. It is possible that their endless jealousy causes separations.
Question your self-esteem
You may be jealous of your lover or spouse, considering the possibility that they might be attracted to someone else. However, it does not make you happy to be with someone whose interest turns easily to someone else. If you always want to control it, your trust is already over. In fact, jealousy is directly related to one’s self-confidence. A confident person will not be jealous of someone else. He both knows that there are individual differences and knows that jealousy will not pay off.
Jealousy ends as the marriage gets older
Even this is enough to show that the feeling of jealousy is related to the feeling of trust. As people get to know each other and take a more permanent place in each other’s lives, there is no feeling of jealousy. Especially when they are children, the expectations of the spouses focus on the well-being of the children. Hence, their overly interventionist and controlling attitudes on each other are decreasing.
Or are you intrusive?
In fact, the normalized state of controlling and maintaining intrusive behavior in relationships is called jealousy. If you want to keep track of many details such as what the person you are with, where and with whom he spends time, you may be doing it under the name of jealousy.
I have the power now!
You have power over yourself to the extent that we can control the feeling of jealousy. There is not such a thing as less of jealousy or healthy jealousy. Question yourself about why you are jealous. Then you will find out that it’s just about yourself. For some, being jealous might be a way to keep the attention on. However, this is a wrong form of communication, and it is both tiring and wearing!